The Unified Theory of Facebook

1st Law: People who didn't know you/didn't talk to you/made fun of you/beat you up everyday in high school will add you as a "friend."

2nd Law: Any status update that is commented on enough devolves into nothing more than Big Lewbowski quotes.

3rd Law: The first time you "hide" a friend's status updates will be to block the messages from "Mafia Wars" and "Farmville.

4th Law: Posting an "I lost my cell phone" event is a really great way to ensure a smaller contact list on your new phone.

5th Law: You will have one friend who only posts DJ status updates. And you will hide him.

6th Law: You will find out that people you otherwise like are stridently Republican/Democrat.

7th Law: Your mom will be a "mutual friend" of your ex.

8th Law: You will be tagged in a monstrously embarrassing picture without your permission, and by the time you see it, 27 people will have already commented on it.

9th Law: At least one friend a month will leave only "is..." as their status update, in an attempt to be "deep" when they're afraid to just not have anything to say.

10th Law: You will want a dislike button very soon.


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