Phirstly...Phuck Phelps. I want my girlfriend back, Michael.
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Next, echoing what Matt has said, some of these subjective scoring sports are leaving me scratching my head...of course politics comes into it. Did you see the Ukrainians in the synchronized diving last night? Their attempt wasn't that bad, eliciting scores generally in the range of 7 to 8...but the Russians, of course, gave them a 4.5? "Ukraine? Ukraine is weak!!!"
At the same time, bad officiating doesn't deserve this kind of behavior (way to make your country proud).
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What is this generation's answer to the hairy-lipped, broad-shouldered Iron Curtain athletes of the Cold War?
Did you know the average weight of a Chinese female gymnast is 77 lbs? One of them still has her baby teeth and just 6 months ago the Chinese media itself referred to her as a 13 year old? Good luck trying to find the article now.
At least our gymnasts have breasts.
These female gymnasts creep me out to begin with. Freakishly tiny, with bone-deficiencies from a lack of sunlight, and no childhood or life to speak of. And that's the Americans, who are lucky to get into this sport at age 8 or so, and have an overbearing set of parents who live vicariously through them.
Imagine instead an overbearing government who wants to live vicariously through them coming to take your kid at age 3 to be trained for the Olympics.
And don't get me started on all the fucking barrettes.
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And seriously, I'm not exactly rooting against Michael Phelps, but Jesus, is this guy even human? I have a hard enough time even starting a goddamn Cat 4 race because of nerves, and this comes to Beijing knowing he needs to win every single event he swims in to break Mark Spitz's record, and he's doing it? I kinda want him to get Silver just once...just once, to see his reaction. And how the hell did they not extend an invitation to Mark Spitz himself to come witness this history in the making? Nope. He has to come on his own dime. I'd be pissed too.
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No thanks. I'll stick with the real thing:
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