You were never closer through each painful pass with barely a glimpse.
Your words never louder.
Your smile never brighter.

You were never clearer with each tasty mouthful and morsel and platefuls of soul.
Lifegiving food.
Delicious you.

You’ve never been truer without saying a word, spoke with your eyes.
Unneedful of place.
Mindless of want.

But you were never farther as I saw you, just out of reach, soon out of sight.

This was a joke told by a Mexican-American that was buying a car. I want to use the word Hispanic, but he says there is no shame in using the word Mexican because that is where he is from. So here goes the joke.

He asked me what a Fat Woman and a Brick had in common?

I said, I really do not know!

He said they would both eventually be laid by a Mexican!

Be sure and check out these other Car Salesman Jokes and Car Lot Humor;
Car Salesman Joke; Eyeglasses
Grean Pea (New Car Salesman) Prank
Car Salesman Joke-Flying Cars
Car Salesman Joke-A Little Tail
Service Department Joke
Transmission Joke
Car Salesman; Day In The Life!
Dirty Car Salesman Joke

Lamborghini's LP640
Originally uploaded by *ORaNGe*

What is your favorite colored Lambo? I dont know if I can help you save any money on a Lamborghini, but I guess those that buy a Lambo are not really worried about money! I would love to go to a ride and drive and see these sitting there to test.

The Long Green Walk
Originally uploaded by mistymisschristie

Everyone always awaits the pep cars the golfers drive at the Fed Ex golf tournament. There are huge savings to be found. Here is how it works. There are GM vehicles sent to the Golf Tournament for the St. Jude Classic. The golfers drive them for the week. They are then sent back to the local dealers to sell at discounted prices--(Re-Invoiced).

The Cars, Trucks, and SUV's usually are sent back to dealers with 200 or 300 miles, maybe more if you are lucky. The more miles, the more GM discounts them. Everyone in the Memphis area look for these deals every year.

The majority of the vehicles are Buick and some GMC's. There are Buick Lacrosse, Buick Enclave, Buick Lucerne, GMC Acadia, GMC Yukons, just to name a few. This is probably the main cars that are sent. But, you can now get extra savings along with ALL applicable rebates. The only thing you cannot do is use your employee or supplier pricing. In the past you could not use GM Card Earnings on these either, that probably goes for this year as well. You can save some money though.

Get A Quote. Quick.on the Car of your choice! You can get a Your Free Auto Quote on any Car, Truck, or SUV. If it is Pontiac, Buick, GMC, Ford, Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep, Lincoln, Nissan, Toyota, Mercedes, Hummer, BMW, Honda, or whatever brand you desire. Find out the price before ever going to the dealer. This is the easiest way you will ever buy your next vehicle. Get A Quote. Quick.NOW FREE!

Now with global warming these frozen art cars will be hot ticket item, no, a cool ticket item. Trees will be exploding all around you from the heat but you'll be all nice and cool with the ac on the "frozen" setting. It could be a melted wasteland out there and still get to work on time. You will literally survive all kinds of man made and natural disasters out there, not to mention other benefits such as:

1) The car floats in case of a flash flood
2) Truly the coldest beer in town
3) You wont feel a thing during a firestorm
4) Tornadoes just slip around you
5) Bullet proof car in a fire fight
6) Ice scream wont melt on the way home... ever
7) Icicles can be broken off and used for self defense
8) You can keep transplant body parts, fresh for weeks on end
9) Can't car jack the car if you can't open the frozen door handle
10) Lawn sculpture





This guy decided that he would quit using his car just like the credit card in the block of ice trick. I want to know what happens when the ice melts in the spring. No, its not an "all terrain" car

Portland: Cyclist's Utopia? Not quite sure about that.

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Boonen blows it. A total snow job for such a minor infraction. He's walking a rail here. Quite a bump in the road.

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Bike Thieves. there is a special place in hell for these people. I hopehopehope I actually see this guy. Be on the look out for a very pro bike, with very un-pro rider on it. I will be using something a little more precision guided than that method that Matt suggests, should I see this asshole.

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And, hey! I want my tomatoes back. Why is it so hard not to wash produce in raw sewage? Oh right. Because you don't give a shit. Well, actually...you gave us your shit.

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Tornadoes. I've never even seen one, and I lived in Texas for 7 years, but they scare the shit out of me. And this coming from a guy who lived in the most seismically active place in the world, who once slept through a 6.5 rumbler.

But I hate Boy Scouts too, so this is kind of a draw.

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Not that I really hate it...but I have a day off tomorrow and I'm not even going to be able to sleep in! I've got too much stuff to do! It is a big weekend, you realize. Load the truck, volunteer at Bike to Work Day, pick up the keg. So busy, in fact, I won't be able to go to Cat 5 opening night at the track, as Jeff just pointed out, below. Shit. That is something to hate.

When's a writer to find any time to blog?

Oh, yeah. Work.

Richard Moriarty decided to hang his 1974 Lamborghini on a wall in his home when he had enough of having it towed "because the engine kept stalling". Its one way to turn you car into art and the best part is the great gas millage, no more expensive car repairs and he will never loose his car in the parking lot.